Walk under the rain – A Conversation

SHE – I don’t think it’s a good idea!

ME – Come on! It doesn’t rain every other day!

SHE – Yeah! But walking in the rain? Who does that!

ME – Everyone does that!

SHE – Everyone with an umbrella!

ME – And raincoat!

SHE – Okay! But we neither have raincoat nor an umbrella!

ME – That’s exactly what I was talking about! Walking in the rain without an umbrella or raincoat! Getting completely drenched!

SHE – And why exactly do you think we should be doing that?

ME – So you think it’s not an exciting idea?

SHE – “Bad idea”, is the precise way of describing it!

 

A moment of silence!

 

ME – Okay girl! Tell me! Have you ever done bungee jumping?

SHE – No!

ME – See! That’s my point! You have never done a bungee jump because you “think” that you are scared of heights!

SHE – Wrong! I have never done a bungee jumping because I have never been to a place which has one.

 

A moment of silence!

 

ME – I should probably use some other example! Okay! Tell me one thing that you don’t like!

SHE – Walking under the rain without an umbrella or raincoat!

ME – Ah! Come on! Give me another!

SHE – You want another? That would be you trying to convince me to walk under the rain!

 

Silence….

 

ME – Ok! Look at it this way! You think that you don’t like walking under the rain! But how will you know if you don’t give it a try! Give it and a try and then arrive at conclusion!

SHE – last week, after the movie! I hope you remember how we ran from the theatre to the parking lot and I slipped real bad.

ME – But you didn’t fall down!

SHE – But I fell ill!

ME – Yeah! But you didn’t fall “down”!

SHE – I could have fallen! Had I fallen, I would have broken my knee!

ME – Look! When you slip, you fall on your back! There’s no way that your knee will get hurt!

SHE – So, you saying that you are okay with me breaking my back?

 

Silence….

 

ME – Look, that was Sprint! But this! This would be walking. A real slow walk!

SHE – Oh! Come on! That’s illogical? How different are they? Moreover I don’t want people to laugh at us, while we walk slowly under the rain!

ME – How is that illogical! And are saying that Usain bolt and Matej Toth are no different from each other?

SHE – Who is Matej Toth?

ME – He won gold in 20km walk! The Rio Olympics!

SHE – I didn’t know that!

ME – Exactly! See everyone knows Usain Bolt, but not Matej Toth! Bottom line- If you run people would notice, but if you walk, people would not! So there is no question of people laughing at us!

 

Silence…

 

SHE – I am not coming! Let’s end this conversation!

ME – Okay! How about this? I will walk under the rain? And you could use an umbrella and walk along!

SHE – Yeah! But we don’t have an umbrella!

 

I proceeded to make an exit.

 

SHE – Where are you going?

ME – Give me 5 minutes lady and you would know!

 

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After an hour…

 

SHE – It’s been an hour! Where are you? Where did you go?

ME – I had come out to buy an umbrella from this shop across the street and…

SHE – And what? You still deciding on the colors?

ME – Na! I slipped while sprinting to this shop and..

SHE – And…? Did you break your back?

ME – No! It’s the knee!

-CHAN

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Meat and Flesh – A Conversation

She – Meat is non veg.!

Me – yeah! But you shouldn’t ignore the fact that I eat dead meat!

She – Dead meat?

Me – Of course! Meat is dead! Else it would be flesh. And I don’t eat flesh! So technically, I eat dead animals and I don’t kill one!

She – You have got the definition wrong, haven’t you?

He – What definition?

She – Meat is edible flesh! Chicken meat, pork meat, mutton meat! There is no human meat!

He – Oh! Come on! Cannibals would beg to differ! I mean, I am not a cannibal! I just eat the bird! No lamb, no pork! Just the bird! (Pause) And fish sometimes! But not from the aquarium, you know!

She – Who would eat fish from an aquarium?

Me – My cat would! But anyway my point is I am a non-vegetarian! And there’s nothing wrong about it!

She – Everything is wrong about it! Inflicting so much pain!

Me- Oh! Come on! Even plants have life! CV Raman has proved it in his experiment!

She – That was JC Bose!

Me – So what! Would a plant’s life become any less important, because JC Bose discovered it!

She didn’t speak for a while! May be, I had won the debate! The waiter arrived at our table and served our orders – Me, some fancy chicken dish and she? May be potato or paneer! What else a vegetarian would eat!

She – No.! Okay! Tell me one thing! Why does pain exist?

Me – Oh Please! I don’t want to discuss religion, philosophy and god!

She – No man.! The science question! Why does one feel pain, when he..

Me – Or she!

She – yeah ok! Why does one feel the pain, when he or she gets injured?

I thought for a while! The question didn’t make sense!

Me – It’s good as asking why a green leaf is green! (Pause) Oh. Wait! There’s a scientific reason why a green leaf is green! Absorbed components of light, reflected components of light and all that nonsense! But hey, the pain thing, I don’t think it has got any scientific reason!

She – Think about it! Cutting your hair or nails doesn’t hurt you! But anything happens to skin, eyes, or you know other body parts, you feel the pain!

I thought for a while.

Me -You know what! I had felt the same when I was in my kindergarten!

She – Good! Anyway, pain is the body’s inbuilt mechanism to alert you! To tell you that something wrong is happening to your body! If you let it continue, you might die! So do something about it!

Me – Well. This didn’t cross my mind when I was in kindergarten! Hey! Nice observation!

She – Thanks! So if you get injured, you might die because of the blood loss, so the pain! Heart attack, same thing! But cut your hair or nail! Your life is safe! So no alert!

Me – Oh! And what about tooth decay? Why does it hurt?

She- the infection could spread to the eye and then the brain and could kill you!

Me – Fever?

She – That’s a slightly different topic! Body temperature increases significantly to kill the foreign bodies! Anyways, the point is if you pluck the leaf, vegetables and fruits, that wouldn’t kill the plant! So, plants don’t feel the pain when we do that!

Me – Who gave this theory, JC Bose?

She – No.! Me!

Me – Then I can disprove it! Let me think of some examples!

We were done with the eating business and the waiter handed us the cheque!

Me – Hey! Tell me one thing!

She – What?

Me – Can losing money, kill you?

“No!” She laughed. “Why?” she asked.

“Because right now, I am feeling a strange sense of pain!” I said looking at the four figured sum on the bill!

-CHAN

The Vacation Plans – A Conversation

She – Ah! That’s weird.!

Me – Weird as in good weird?

She – Bad weird! Every person wants to, you know run away from the routine. From the ecosystem they live in. Away from people they know, places they have been, sounds they have heard

Me – You might want to change that last statement!

She – Okay! Away from noise! To places filled with soft sounds..!

“Scarcely filled..!”, I offered a correction.

“Yes.. Scarcely filled! But the point is not that. The point is, you are telling me that you spend your vacation visiting market places! That’s bad weird”, she shrugged her shoulders.

Me – You don’t see my point! Life is not our loyal Butler. He doesn’t serve you with the best of the butter cakes!

She – Butter cakes? Eww..!

Me- Okay..! What cake do you like? Lemon pound cakes?

She – Plum cakes..!

Me – It has no butter?

She – No..! It has wine and plum..! I think we are moving away from the central discussion!

Me- Yeah.. We are. So yeah.. You see, life isn’t your loyal Butler. He doesn’t serve you with the best of the plum cakes. So you ought to train yourselves for the worst. So that when he serves you with the worst ones, you don’t have complains. And when he serves you with the delicious ones, you feel exhilarated

That was a beautiful explanation, I felt. I had offered a different perspective, a fascinating philosophy, a packet of wisdom, a capsule of happiness! Or at least I thought so.!

After five strides by the second hand of my tiny little watch, she spoke!

“You know what! That doesn’t make sense!”, She laughed.

I looked at her for a while.

“You know what! I think, even I have begun to feel the same, I said.

She was right! I had not served her with a fascinating philosophy, a packet of wisdom or a capsule of happiness! That was just a bucket load of nonsense!

-Chan